


alm, you gotta knock

by PinkHydrangea



Category: Fire Emblem Echoes: Mou Hitori no Eiyuu Ou | Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia
Genre: F/M, IM SORRY ALM, Implied Sexual Content, Walking In On Someone, alm accidentally walks in on his parents getting frisky, also tatiana is there but like not enough for me to tag her as a character you feel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 14:56:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11648940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkHydrangea/pseuds/PinkHydrangea
Summary: Alm learns you should always knock before walking into someone's tent





	alm, you gotta knock

**Author's Note:**

> I LOVE ALM BUT ALSO I LOVE MAKING FUN OF HIM!!! im sorry alm you're a good boy and you don't deserve the horror of walking in on your green mom and amnesiac dad hardcore making out
> 
> adsl;fksa im sorry abt this, i wrote it super fast, i didn't even edit it that well IM JUST SO AMUSED

Alm cannot find Zeke, which is kind of bad, since he really needs to talk to him. He’s got some reports that need looking at, and Clive, Lukas, and Mathilda are all busy. He also has a few papers for Zeke in particular, and they’re just cluttering up his tent, so he’d really prefer if he could just get them out of his way.

But, Zeke is nowhere to be found.

“Have you seen Zeke?” Alm asks Forsyth.

Forsyth hums, looks thoughtful for a moment, and then snaps his fingers. “Ah! Yes, the general said he was going to relax in his tent. He had a long day yesterday, so I’m not surprised. I’m sure you could still find him there, Alm.”

For Zeke to be lounging around in his tent during the day is a bit odd, and the reason why Alm hadn’t thought to check there before. Forsyth has a mind like a steel trap, however, and never forgets a detail, so it’s safe to say that he’s correct. He thanks Forsyth, gives a wave, and tucks the papers under his arm.

Zeke and Tatiana’s tent is pitched a little further from the rest, and it takes Alm a while to get to it. It sounds quiet inside, peaceful, and Alm really does feel bad for interrupting what little relaxation time Zeke is giving himself, but the papers have to be passed along as soon as possible. He pushes aside the flap of the tent, staring at the papers one final time to make sure they’re all in their proper place.

“Hey, Zeke, I got these repo-”

Alm freezes, his hand still on the flap of the tent, and all the blood in his body rushes upwards to his face.

Zeke is shirtless, that's what Alm notices first. The next thing he notices are the sounds: A short, breathless gasp, hums of contentment, lips smacking against skin, a slight sigh. He then notices that he's leaning over Tatiana (or who he assumes to be Tatiana, because Zeke’s broad back is to him, shielding his lover from view), and is kneeling between her spread legs. Her arms are draped over him, roaming over his bare back, and his own are settled on her thighs.

“Holy Mila,” is really all that Alm can think to say, because Tatiana’s dress is very disheveled, and Zeke is _really_ leaning into her.

The entire scene goes still in half-a-second, both of them jumping and then freezing in place. The horror that radiates from them is immediate, and Alm doesn't know. What. To do.

“Alm.” Zeke’s voice is tight, but surprisingly calm. “You have five seconds to get out of my tent, or I will rip your throat out with my bare hands, so help me gods.”

His mind is drawing a big old blank, and he knows his legs _should_ be moving as fast as they can, but they aren’t, and instead he just goes, “Uuuuhhhhhh.”

“Three seconds!” Zeke snaps, and Alm throws the papers down and rushes out, his face burning and his heart pounding.

“OhgodsI’msorry!”

* * *

Tatiana doesn't look at Alm at dinner that night, her face bright red whenever he so much as looks in her general direction. Zeke glares at him, his grip on his fork iron tight, and just that simple little thing alone is threatening. Alm is pretty sure that Zeke could come up with at least five ways to kill someone with a fork, and thus, fears for his life.

Zeke grabs him by the shoulder that night after the war meeting, when everyone else is ahead of them and they’re just about alone in front of the tent. “Knock next time. On something. Anything,” he scolds.

Alm is burning, and stares at the ground. “Were you-?”

“We were about to.”

“D-did you-?”

“You rather killed the romantic mood. That I worked _hard_ to set. We ended up not.” Zeke glares even harder. “You nearly gave Tatiana a heart attack. One more accident like that, and Emperor Rudolf’s orders be damned, I’ll send you home in a body bag. Got it?”

Alm nods vehemently. “Sir! Yes, sir! N-next time, I’ll knock. Or, uh, yell. Loudly!”

“Please do.” Zeke squeezes his shoulder in a threatening manner, then walks off, muttering about “kids these days.”

Alm hunches over, resting his hands on his knees, and tries to catch his breath.

Python walks by, brushing his teeth with a glass of water in hand, and stares as the man leaves. “What's the general lookin’ so mad for?” He takes a swig of water, swishes it around, then crudely spits before teasingly asking, “What, did you walk in on him when he was about to get laid? Kill his ‘romantic mood?’”

Alm stares at Python in mute horror. Python’s grin drops.

“Oh my gods, Alm. You have to _knock.”_


End file.
